Sitting home on a saturday night.................Life is Beautiful

Hmmm....where to begin....
so it's saturday night and i've spent majority of my time on the computer. I went to Hobby Lobby earlier, which by the way is pretty much my favorite place ever! Anyway, i bought my self a drawing set and some sketch paper cause i have recently gained back my desire to draw. I walked around the store about an hour and a half and found waayy too many things that i want to buy. That store is amazing. I felt guilty for spending money on myself so at Wal-Mart while buying some fudgecycles for Linger Longer tomorrow, I bought a mini Ben & Jerry's for my dear friend Kelly, whom i love with all my heart. I stopped by her house to drop it off to make her night a little better because she's been working hard on homework and i wanted her to at least have a sweet treat while doing it. Anyway, we chatted for a little bit, which made my night because even the shortest conversations with Kelly are THE BEST conversations :) She's such an amazing person. I'm so grateful to have her.
(Sorry for the pointlessness of this story so far)
I came home very excited to experiment with my new drawing supplies i got and got on the computer to find stuff to practice drawing. I got a little bored and was unsatified with how horrible i am at drawing haha. So i went on Kim's blog who by the way is my inspiration to get back into drawing. She is amazing so i went to look at her stuff haha cause I'm jealous of how good she is and admire her talent. I eventually moved on to just looking at other peoples blogs. You know what i realize and thought about....
There are so many amazing people in this world. You may not know it unless you get to really know them....or read their blogs haha. I have been so blessed to have the greatest/most amazing friends ever and to still be surrounded by amazing people as well. Lately I've been giving myself a hard time and stressing out because i havent been doing my scripture study & extra church studies for a total of two hours like i would like to or writing missionaries right away. It's been because this last week i have been convinced to stay out later than i would like which means im too tired to do it when i get home. Then because i stay out late i sleep in and by the time i get up i need to go do stuff. I mean i never fail to read my scriptures once a day but i still don't feel like i have my priorities exactly right. I just never feel like I can ever do enough to show my Heavenly Father the gratitude i have for my life and how wonderful it is. As i did my studies this morning and wrote 4 missionaries i layed back and wanted to cry cause i've been soo stressed. I haven't cried in while and i had no idea where the tears were coming from. I was seriously saying out loud "what is my problem?" "Why the heck am I crying...i need to stop" I layed there and pondered and realized that i need to give my self a break. It's great for us to live our lives as the Lord would want us to but I realized that our Heavenly Father doesn't want us to stress so much about it that it brings us to tears that we aren't doing enough. He is mindful of us and knows our hearts. He appreciates our desires to live the Gospel. I do still feel like i need to devote a little more time to scripture study and finding time to feel the spirit. I am grateful to have many opportunities to be able to do that just because i have so many wonderful people in my life or recognizing the tender mercies our Father in Heaven sheds upon us every single day. I can in know way picture my life with out the Gospel. I would be incomplete. Which brings me to missionary work and my deep love and appreciation for it. There are sooo many of our brothers and sisters out in the world who are yet to receive this wonderful gift of the Gospel that i have had my entire life. I have such a strong desire to serve a mission for this church and if it is the Lords will for me to do that, i will not hesitate to take that opportunity. If it isn't the Lords will, I will of course be a missionary wherever i go and whoever i come in contact with. I think it's so important to always keep a missionary spirit with us at all times and do our part as members of the church to help bring our heavenly brothers and sisters home to our Father in Heaven. I had an experience the other night that i am not completely satisfied with but have hope in. As i was walking out of target about 10 feet away from my car a girl about my age with a worried look on her face came up to me and said that she didn't mean to bother me but wondered if she could use my cell phone to call her friend. She had been dropped off earlier that day or evening to job hunt in that area around target(northeast corner of southern and gilbert) and her roomate never came to picked up. Her roommate never answered and had no one else to call. Poor girl was so scare and almost in tears. She lived out in Apache Junction and the last bus that night had already left and she didnt have enough for a cab. i looked through my wallet and had just spent the last of my cash. All i had were quarters. I decided to go inside and return what i had bought and she said she would wait outside. As i was walkin back into target i remembered how she said she was job hunting for "religious purposes" i didnt EXACTLY know what that meant but it automatically mad me think of the pass-a-long card i had been keeping in my purse for quite some time and as i was at the return counter i search and found it in my purse. (i knew it would come in handy sometime!) I was so happy that i had it. I got the cash and as i handed it to her along with the pass-a-long card and told her just to promise to keep it. I know it was just probably a card to her but I can't help but hope that she really took it as something serious that i wanted her to have. I'll probably never know, in this life, if it had any effect on her but I know that there was a reason i kept that card and probably a reason for me to come in contact with her so that i may be given an opportunity to help someone else out. My $15 dollar purchase that i sacrificed may have changed someones life. I hope in the long run it did. I was kind of angry with my self for not having a Book of Mormon with me so the second i got home i put one in my purse and the next day filled my purse with more pass-a-long cards. I feel that we always need to be prepared for experiences like those. I challenge everyone to keep a couple pass-a-long cards or a Book of Mormon in your car or purse or have them somewhere period. We probably often are scared to pursue a missionary act or moment, but friends or anybody may be more ready than we think. We should at least invite them to learn or invite them to some little activity. They could be more prepared than we were aware of. Listen and follow the promptings from the Holy Ghost who is our constant companion. And live a life where you are able to receive those promptings.
This blog has turned out to be way more than i expected. If you have gotten to this point...you are a trooper! I just am so passionate about missionary work and for this Gospel because i see how it effects the lives of people in the most amazing way. Having it and living it is THEE ONLY way to find TRUE happiness. I know because i have experienced it. I know that everything in life works out its own way on its own time, but the point is is that it WILL work out as long as we live according to how we have been commanded to. I love my family, my friends, and my life!
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL :)